The Boat Race

The Queens HD Team and 9 Ex Malay/Borneo Veterans (MBV’s) decided to have a competitive boat race on the River Thames. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The MBV’s team won by a mile.

Afterwards, the Queens HD Team (QHD) became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. QHD decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of Executive Officers was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.

Their conclusion: The problem was that the QHD team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering, whereas the MBV team had 8 persons rowing and 1 person steering. The Executive Officers Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.
After some time and billions of pounds, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the MBV team again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Officers, 3 Area Steering Officers, and 1 Steering Midland Banker" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a star performer.
The next year the MBV team won by two miles.
The QHD Committee laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the oars, cancelled all leave, called for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed medals, promotions and knighthoods on the money saved as bonuses to the senior officers.

Ring any bells lads and lasses?

HI JOHN, WOULD BE REALLY FUNNY, IF IT WAS MYTH,SADLY YOUR SPOT ON,THE NHS IS SACKING STAFF , LOOSING BEDS,MAYBE THEY ARE IN A BOAT RACE TOO?

John Cooper wrote:

The Boat Race

The Queens HD Team and 9 Ex Malay/Borneo Veterans (MBV’s) decided to have a competitive boat race on the River Thames. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they were as ready as they could be. The MBV’s team won by a mile.

Afterwards, the Queens HD Team (QHD) became discouraged by the loss and their morale sagged. QHD decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A Continuous Measurable Improvement Team of Executive Officers was set up to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.

Their conclusion: The problem was that the QHD team had 1 person rowing and 8 people steering, whereas the MBV team had 8 persons rowing and 1 person steering. The Executive Officers Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure.
After some time and billions of pounds, the consulting firm concluded that "too many people were steering and not enough rowing." To prevent losing to the MBV team again next year, the management structure was changed to "4 Steering Officers, 3 Area Steering Officers, and 1 Steering Midland Banker" and a new performance system for the person rowing the boat to give more incentive to work harder and become a star performer.
The next year the MBV team won by two miles.
The QHD Committee laid off the rower for poor performance, sold all of the oars, cancelled all leave, called for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, awarded high performance awards to the consulting firm, and distributed medals, promotions and knighthoods on the money saved as bonuses to the senior officers.

Ring any bells lads and lasses?

9 months on and NOTHING changes


_________________
--------------------------------------------------------------
HD Committee: Amateurs in a Professional World
---------------------------------------------------------------

I think that covers it all quite nicely, John.

Yours Aye

Arthur